rants: wicked poetry

As many who’ve following my blog or any other public accounts used to promote my books as well as my friends, I like writing poetry and prose aside from my long science fiction stories. As of late (past several years), my poetry’s been centered in Pagan or other topics that perhaps a Christian shouldn’t get into much more than usual — craft, magik, angels and demons, life and death, just to name a few.

My latest poem is about a red-haired girl with pale skin running in a meadow vaguely making references to her age (little child or young woman), physique (vaguely referred to as a little devil) and other characteristics (sexuality or innocence). It’s basically about her interaction with nature, how much she resembles nature and how much nature returns the favor of the nameless flaming-haired girl.

I want to be a famous writer, but it’s merely dream. After all, I might be too spooky for mainstream readers.

Sunday series: want your feedback

Should I continue with this series considering that I’m merely 33% to 45% done?
Need your feedback. Don’t just check (tick) the “Like” button — thanks.

got a secret? life of closet junkie

I take lots of medication — enough to kill someone or, at least, fry his/her brain leaving him/her possibly in a coma. If I don’t take my medication, I often do stupid things as I fight the demons in my head empty-handed. I guess I’M A CLOSET JUNKIE — not that anyone cares.

I’ve already overdosed proving that I’m a miserable nobody — as a mere gutter-ridden addict dying for his next fix. I’ve had my annoying highs (jokes) and nasty lows — flirting with death (suicide). Of course, cheating death (surviving by the skin of my teeth) is a whole different story. In either case, I still face the romanticism and beauty of death in its hypnotizing eyes and laugh at its seductive voice.

This is the secret life of an evil man, a sadist, degenerate and dirty man. It’s too obvious and, as such, no further explanation would be needed.

This is the secret life of sick man, whom no one cared to help for almost four decades. Antipsychotics, a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist and my so-called faith have helped although making me an addict in thousands of ways.

This is the not-so-secret life of a man who hates himself yet must live for his innocent children.

This is the not-so-secret life of a Christian with Pagan traditions influenced by craft. I’m a closet atheist, a closet Pagan, a mere bastard going with the flow of the Church and its rites.

I’M A LIE, A CHRISTIAN AND A VULGAR SHAM!

C’est la vie, merde, merde, beaucoup merde!

rants: catholicism, not a religion

I’ve bitched about the following many times, but people refuse to hear.

“15 He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.” (Matthew 11:15 KJV)

It’s hard to make true as well as so-called Catholics (as my mom and others who seem to care) that Catholicism is NOT a religion and NOT Christianity by itself, but a division of Christianity (East-West Schism, 1054) — a denomination, one of the major divisions of the Christian Church. Others include the Eastern Orthodox Church, Protestants, Primitivism, etc.

“The Schism of 1054 (also known as the East-West Schism) occurred when a representative of the Roman pope excommunicated the patriarch of Constantinople, and the patriarch excommunicated the Roman pope in return.”
http://www.greatschism.org/

By the way, I love Coptic art — as the ones included in this post.

Protestantism is NOT another religion. It’s a set of denominations protesting (complaining) the corruption of the Roman Catholic Church — especially the pope and the practice of donations to buy salvation (shameful bribery & insult to God).

As such, I’m a Christian baptized Catholic and indoctrinated in its secondary beliefs. I despised the concept of the Church (as a whole) for many years as it’d corrupted Christianity and the Word of God. By 2008, I’d decided not to return to the Roman Catholic Church. In 2008, I decided to check out various Protestant churches settling for Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church — a eclectic mix of the filthy rich and those living paycheck to paycheck (if not unemployed). Hence I’m a Christian who rejects the corruption and hypocrisy of the Roman Catholic Church — for example, sexual abuse of children (especially, but not limited to, boys). I believe a pastor (male or female) should marry and have a family. The latter doesn’t mean that there’s no sexual misconduct in Protestant churches, but it sure as hell is heavily diminished.

If anyone wants to discuss other religions, see Neopaganism, especially Wicca.

First image of Great Schism is a courtesy of greatschism.org — thanks.

rants: what faith? no god for the sick!

My son might need much more than we can provide for him — especially safety and self-control. Living in a state like NY, courts can decide the fate of seriously ill individuals without prior consent from the individual or his/her kin and/or caretakers.

So pathetic tears of a forty-something don’t mean anything. I live with the constant fear that some dime-a-dozen nobody will knock on my door with a court order to take my boy away to some hospital where he’d be treated like lab rat, drugged out his mind and mistreated (under full consent of the law) while my little boys cries himself asleep — if not suicide in all.

I can’t bear the idea of letting some dime-a-dozen assholes deciding for his live or death.

In all, I’m a broken man, beaten man no longer afraid of the court system, but cashless to get a descent lawyer (close to $10,000 to hold the government by the balls).