me, me, always me
Although I’m taking my medicines, I’m so depressed that my body aches. I’ve got to find comfort in little things like several cups of hot coffee during the day.
Right now, I’ve got no interest in working or doing some of the things that I normally enjoy doing. I just want to sleep, forget and disappear. I feel so lonely that I want to talk to someone who can cheer me up. Of course, all my friends are gone or busy and I’ve got no one to talk to right now.
I’m so worried about money that I can’t relax. I’m waiting for my income tax refund so I can pay part of the money that I owe (bills, credit card debt, loans, etc).
This seems like textbook depression. This is also where religion and going to church help me out. It’s therapeutic as it brings me momentary peace (some sort of escape from my reality).
I admit that I use religion to get that personal peace and tranquility that I constantly seek. Therefore I might not the good Christian whom I try to become and my whole effort might simply be a sham after all.
So the question remains. Am I lying to myself? Am I the liar whom everyone accuses me to be?