The Christian Noob (n00b)

born & raised Catholic, now going to a Presbyterian church & still learning

patriotism, drinking, self destructive behavior, hurt & no God

According to Wikipedia ( the following is the concept of patriotism.

Patriotism is love and devotion to one’s country. The word comes from the Greek patris, meaning fatherland. Patriotism, however, has had different meanings over time, and its meaning is highly dependent upon context, geography, and philosophy. Although patriotism is used in certain vernaculars as a synonym for nationalism, nationalism is not necessarily considered an inherent part of patriotism. Among the ancient Greeks, patriotism consisted of notions concerning language, religious traditions, ethics, law, and devotion to the common good, rather than pure identification with a nation-state. Scholar J. Peter Euben writes that for the Greek philosopher Socrates, “patriotism does not require one to agree with everything that his country does and would actually promote analytical questioning in a quest to make the country the best it possibly can be.”

In the Hindu epic Ramayana, Lord Rama tells Lakshmana Janani Janma Bhoomischa Swargadapi Gariyasi (Mother and Motherland are greater than heaven), which greatly lays the foundation for consciousness of patriotism for Hindus.

During the 18th century Age of Enlightenment, the notion of patriotism continued to be separate from the notion of nationalism. Instead, patriotism was defined as devotion to humanity and beneficence. For example, providing charity, criticizing slavery, and denouncing excessive penal laws were all considered patriotic. In both ancient and modern visions of patriotism, individual responsibility to fellow citizens is an inherent component of patriotism.

Many contemporary notions of patriotism are influenced by 19th century ideas about nationalism. During the 19th century, “being patriotic” became increasingly conflated with nationalism and even jingoism. However, some notions of contemporary patriotism reject nationalism in favour of a more classic version of the idea of patriotism which includes social responsibility.

It’s a farce for some and die-hard reality for many. Yet this is a feeling that I’ve never experienced — not even during war. This lack of pride has made me a foreigner wherever I’ve lived. I haven’t been able to fit in the general mold.

At the same time, this might be reason for the culture clash I’ve had several times and especially the suicidal desperation that I endured during high school. Maybe I can blame all this to my drinking, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, suicide attempts (always stopping right in time not to die) and over all pain from peer-pressure and especially high school. Adding the fact that I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD along with other disorders (, I’d have the perfect excuse to have been the worst student in high school while college became a total different story (A student on every subject but statistics).

One of the few things that helped me then were my music (, my then-friend Mary Lou who introduced to reading the Bible (such a weird concept at the time) and finding God at least for a little while.


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