The Christian Noob (n00b)

born & raised Catholic, now going to a Presbyterian church & still learning

what if my whole life were merely a dream?

Did the dream I had two nights ago that I remember vividly really happened? Why is it that I can think, understand and even question the events that I lived in that dream? Was I in real trouble? As soon as I woke up yesterday morning, I started looking for things like documents and other papers that I saw in this dream. Of course, I found nothing since it was a dream after all.

Sometimes I can’t separate what I’ve lived (real memories, past experiences) from what I’ve dreamed at night (false and/or implanted memories, fantasy). At most, this affects about 5% of my memories.

Maybe this is the secondary effect of the medications that I’ve taken for the past four years to tame the demons in my head. Maybe I’m simply losing my mind. Maybe my whole life’s merely a dream and I haven’t woken up.

Nonetheless I need to know what’s real and what’s not, what’s true and what’s not. At that point, I’d normally rely on the experience of others. If they remember some specific experience, then I must be true. I also rely on pictures, my writings or audio/video recordings of any of these memories. Perhaps the latter is why I like having a camera with me at all times to take pictures or videos — regardless of quality — of the events in my life. Of course, if an event is too important, I prefer having my semi-professional equipment.

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Frankie Olvera

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Lloyd Kaufman

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