suicide: the coward’s way out
My friend Julián drops by this blog now and then. We talk about religion (his lack of faith vs. my broken faith). It’s fun talking to him and picking his brain.
If there’s anything worth remembering from teasing him is his opinion on suicide (at least, what came out of my mouth once, a bit over two decades ago). He said that suicide’s a coward‘s way out of trouble, pain or whatever similar scenario.
I was extremely suicidal back then, but I still held on to my false sense of pride. As much as I wanted to kill myself in the most painful and horrible way possible, I remember thinking that I wasn’t going to be called a coward or be seen as such. Better yet, I decided at that point to live for the sole purpose of pissing off all those who didn’t like me and wanted me dead.
My friend’s mockery on the psychology behind suicide might have saved my much too pathetic life. I once told him this and he couldn’t remember any of this. Dude, you saved a life and you couldn’t even remember. Your rabbi should kick you in the ass!
Although I’m still suicidal, I’ve got three reasons to live — my three boys (aside from pissing off many people).