psychotic for Lenten, day 1
I usually feel deeply depressed for Christmas. I didn’t feel this way this past Christmas as I either disconnected Christmas (the Christ’s Mass) from Yule and commercialism from the bullshit of the season or I simply no longer cared about anything at all. At least, I was drugged out of my mind (full of prescription medicine, plenty of antipsychotics).
For almost a month, I haven’t taken any medicine. I ran out of drugs and didn’t care to get my new supply of happy pills.
Today is Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) and I don’t know what in bloody hell to do. Should I care and go to church or literally send it all to hell?
Nonetheless I came to church if it matters. I such a sham of a man — a mere and bloody heretic. Days like this make dying (living) in the deepest pains of hell worth living (dying) as to suffer and rot.
“In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” (Genesis 3:19 KJV)