psychotic for Lenten, day 3 & drugs
Medications don’t fix, cover or stop the psychosis or its intertwining need and desire to destroy and harm others. Drugs (medicines) keep in check long enough for a split-second halt and consider the consequences.
Just like gutter-sleeping junkie, I want more drugs — more bad medicine, stronger effects, enough to keep me from hurting myself and the very few I hold dearly to my arrhythmic heart (non-malign defective valve in the left ventricle, so much drama for a piece of flapping skin that stops blood rich in carbon dioxide (CO2) contaminating blood rich in oxygen (O2) that looks like a snippet of labia minora (not to be confused with the majora).
Thinking of this past Wednesday, I felt at ease in the chapel (though no peace, spiritual or any other for that matter, especially not drug-induced). Maybe I need the solitude and stay the hell out of others, as well as forcing others to be as far away from me.