The Christian Noob (n00b)

born & raised Catholic, now going to a Presbyterian church & still learning

psychotic for Lenten, day 6 & time to sod off

ashes to ashes, dust to dustI’ve called many things throughout my 41.5 years on this third planet.
The following’s an interview from myself to myself.
It’s stupid, but I couldn’t care any less.
Now read them or sod off!

  1. SEX
    1. GAY? fuck no, why? fancy me?
    2. BISEXUAL? prefer women.
    3. PERVERT? maybe, with a sick sense of humor.
    4. WHAT ABOUT THE LONG HAIR? looked good, still look good.
    5. WHAT ABOUT THE EXTREMELY SHORT HAIR? easier to take of… shower, wash, rinse, dry and done,
    1. STUPID? very… what about you?
    2. IDIOT? yes … what about you?
    3. SUICIDAL? yes… next question or I’ll break you legs.
    4. HOMICIDAL? next question or I’ll break you legs.
    5. ASSHOLE? of course, yes … what about your miserable self?
    6. LAZY? oh hell yes, writing batches and scripts to avoid the same again and again.
    7. FAVORITE OS? anything but MS Microsoft, prefer Unix like Linux and FreeBSD.
    1. CHRISTIAN? yes.
    2. DENOMINATION? labels, labels and more labels, as if you cared about nothing better? none of your bloody business… but if really interested to know, born Catholic, now going to a Presbyterian.
    3. GO TO CHURCH? IF SO, WHICH ONE & WHY? yes, Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church (FAPC) ’cause I like it and feel at home… also member of the Universal Life Church (ULC)… very agnostic at times.
    5. SO MINISTER TOO? yes, ULC Ordained Minister since 2010, two years longer than FAPC.
    6. WHY CHOOSING A NON-CATHOLIC CHURCH? sick and tired of the charades, scandals, sexual abuse on minors, the Catholic Church turning the blind eye, bloody hypocrites.
    8. BELIEVE IN HEAVEN? yes.
    9. BELIEVE IN HELL? of course, been there, got some hellos for you especially your mother rotting in the deepest pits of hell.
    10. BELIEVE IN PURGATORY? yes, as in incarnation, earth, all the imbeciles I deal at work, etc.
    11. AFTER YOU DIE, HEAVEN OR HELL? no idea, suffered enough already.
    12. BELIEVE IN GOD? yes.
    14. BELIEVE IN, WORSHIP & PRAY TO SAINTS? no way in hell.
    1. BELIEVE IN WITCHCRAFT OR MAGIC? craft, yes; magick (with K), not sure.
    2. IDENTIFIED WITH ANOTHER RELIGION? IF SO, WHICH? yes, Krishna, Paganism and Oneism (from my Under the Thelian Sky trilogy).
  5. DRUGS
    1. TAKE DRUGS? lots of medications not to lose my mind and not beat the living day lights out you.
    2. JUNKIE? gotta take lots medications to endure your stupidity and (once again) not beat the living day lights out you.
    3. ALCOHOL? not any more, next question.
  6. FOOD
    1. FAVORITE FOOD? pizza.
    2. NO BURGERS OR HOT DOGS? never.
    3. EAT MEAT, POULTRY or FISH? fuck no, animal rights and just too dirty to consume.
    1. SIBLINGS? IF SO HOW MANY? ANY RELIGION? yes, three sisters and one brother… no idea about my two oldest sisters and brother, the youngest is Mormon
    2. WANNA LIVE FOREVER? yes, like any other intellectual (genius) hence writing books and essays
    3. LOW ESTEEM? no, too stupid to understand the irrational social concept.
    4. DEPRESSED? every second of my miserable life, thanks for asking and walking away before slapping your teeth off.
    5. TAKING MEDICATIONS? yes, same question as before, enough to kill a person, next question or beat the living day lights out you before breaking your legs.
    6. DRIVE CARS? no same reason I don’t own a gun.
    7. HOW SO? a weapon in my hands… no more questions.
    8. SATISFIED WITH MY QUESTIONS? no, so time for you to sod off.

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