The Christian Noob (n00b)

born & raised Catholic, now going to a Presbyterian church & still learning

psychotic for Lenten, day 17 & dodging the bullet ten days ago

ashes to ashes, dust to dustAs a rule of thumb, if I need to take new (antipsychotics) medication, I do so during the weekend. After not taking my medication for almost a month, I should’ve taken my own advise, but, of course, I didn’t. I’m too smart to know better, but too stupid to actually not to put myself in danger.

I can’t remember key events between Friday 15th and Tuesday 19th. I’m still piecing together these events. In any case, I’m rebuilding the events prior to my vomit-extravaganza out of pieces of disorganized memories. In some cases, I’m not sure when some if these events took place if ever.

Nothing really comes to mind for Friday 15th. I know I went to work and then returned home in the evening. I might have watched Impact Wrestling (TNA) as I usually try to do.

  1. On Saturday (02/16/2013), I think I took my son for lab test (about eight tubes of blood; feces and urine still pending). I remember being in a nasty mood all day. I think later that night my eleven-year-old got hurt fooling around and I helped him. All the while, I was scared to hell for his life.
  2. On Sunday (02/17/2013), as usual, I went to church and helped during the second service, but I don’t remember the sermon “I AM… The Bread” (based on John 6:22-35

    “22 The day following, when the people which stood on the other side of the sea saw that there was none other boat there, save that one whereinto his disciples were entered, and that Jesus went not with his disciples into the boat, but that his disciples were gone away alone; 23 (Howbeit there came other boats from Tiberias nigh unto the place where they did eat bread, after that the Lord had given thanks:) 24 When the people therefore saw that Jesus was not there, neither his disciples, they also took shipping, and came to Capernaum, seeking for Jesus. 25 And when they had found him on the other side of the sea, they said unto him, Rabbi, when camest thou hither? 26 Jesus answered them and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye seek me, not because ye saw the miracles, but because ye did eat of the loaves, and were filled. 27 Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed. 28 Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God? 29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent. 30 They said therefore unto him, What sign shewest thou then, that we may see, and believe thee? what dost thou work? 31 Our fathers did eat manna in the desert; as it is written, He gave them bread from heaven to eat. 32 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Moses gave you not that bread from heaven; but my Father giveth you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world. 34 Then said they unto him, Lord, evermore give us this bread. 35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.” (John 6:22-35 KJV)

    that references Psalm 23)

    “1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” (Psalm 23 KJV)

    or anything else. Later that afternoon I might have done the laundry as I usually do.

  3. On Monday (02/18/2013), I went to a coffee shop and spent $26.59, but I don’t remember on what — possibly breakfast as it was a holiday.
  4. On Tuesday (02/19/2013), I vomited everything in my stomach before taking my first sip of coffee, went back to my apartment, took a shower, fell asleep (passed out) in the tub (bath, by that time), got up and finished showering, collapsed in bed (passed out again) and ate a little here and there before going back to sleep. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I had an overdose like a-dime-a-dozen junkie). If so, I dodged the bullet once again. As such, I realize that I was sicker than I thought (vomiting & passing out) hence cheating death once again. I’ve actually lost count. I might have to update this list. Of course, I’m not including failed suicide attempts. That’s a different story all together.
    1. 1970 — gestation; possible abort of product; no comments here.
    2. 1971 — some stomach bug or something 20 days after birth.
    3. 1986 — hepatitis, liver and kidneys compromised/failure; no more street vendor food.
    4. 1987 — flipped my bike in the air and landed on my face; losing my sight for a few minutes; nothing broken, just a blasting headache that lasted about two months (goodbye plans to become a drummer).
    5. 1988 — blacking-out after heavy drinking (citrus vodka, gold rum & Coke); giving up drinking a year later (half-way my first year in college).
    6. 1990 — having a knife at my stomach (hold-up).
    7. 1995 — possibility of liver being compromised again; becoming vegetarian.
    8. 1998 — having a gun at my stomach (hold-up).
    9. 2013 — just ten days ago, which makes me ever so more cynical about life.
  5. On Wednesday (02/20/2013), I was back on the saddle again as if nothing had happened. It’s been a week so far, I’m still very confused.

At the end of the day, the following is the FAPC Lent Devotional for today.

“30 I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me. 31 If I bear witness of myself, my witness is not true. 32 There is another that beareth witness of me; and I know that the witness which he witnesseth of me is true. 33 Ye sent unto John, and he bare witness unto the truth. 34 But I receive not testimony from man: but these things I say, that ye might be saved. 35 He was a burning and a shining light: and ye were willing for a season to rejoice in his light. 36 But I have greater witness than that of John: for the works which the Father hath given me to finish, the same works that I do, bear witness of me, that the Father hath sent me. 37 And the Father himself, which hath sent me, hath borne witness of me. Ye have neither heard his voice at any time, nor seen his shape. 38 And ye have not his word abiding in you: for whom he hath sent, him ye believe not. 39 Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. 40 And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life. 41 I receive not honour from men. 42 But I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you. 43 I am come in my Father’s name, and ye receive me not: if another shall come in his own name, him ye will receive. 44 How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only? 45 Do not think that I will accuse you to the Father: there is one that accuseth you, even Moses, in whom ye trust. 46 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me; for he wrote of me. 47 But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?” (John 5:30-47 KJV)


One response to “psychotic for Lenten, day 17 & dodging the bullet ten days ago

  1. 03/01/2013 at 10:03:56

    You relax and have a nice weekend!

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