The Christian Noob (n00b)

born & raised Catholic, now going to a Presbyterian church & still learning

got a secret?

Wouldn’t it be nice to strip naked in front of strangers, drop our charade and tell each other our naughtiest secrets?

I’M A CLOSET ATHEIST!

How can this be? After all, I

  1. go to church and help during worship service,
  2. read the Bible (KJV mainly),
  3. ask the minister questions about Jesus as well as Heaven and hell,
  4. participate in various ministries
  5. and do a little of the whole (Reformed) Christian experience — all the while calling myself the Christian Noob (@ChristianNoob).

Maybe because of my mental illness (bipolar disorder, especially), I can disconnect myself from other components of myself — religion, psyche or any other aspect of my mind and soul. As such, I’ve got doubt about my so-called faith and I voice them as I read material from various heretics like

  1. my favorite philosopher and critic of Christianity of all time — Friedrich Nietzsche,
  2. my favorite modern philosopher and comedian — George Carlin (born Catholic, anti-religion routines)
  3. and today’s poster-boy for reason, science, atheism, humanism and free thinkers — Richard Dawkins.

All the while, I return to my roots and worship the same invisible man in the sky. Needless to say (type), I’m not saying that I don’t believe in God. I only ask myself if God really exists.

10 responses to “got a secret?

  1. unconventionalspirituality 04/22/2013 at 12:09:11

    I think anyone considering the truth will ask themselves if God exists. The question for me became if the christian god does not exist as traditionally proclaimed does that mean that a “creation source, infinite enigma, or supernatural consciousness” equally does not exist? The arguments for atheism do not give me the answer and when I look closely at it, atheism offers just another dogma I’m asked to subscribe to.
    Like [Nietzsche] said, the individual has always had to struggle to not be overwhelmed by the tribe. If you are being honest with yourself and the questions that you have, that is what matters.

    • Frank Olvera (aka "The Christian Noob") 04/23/2013 at 10:16:26

      A pastor friend of mine once said that doubt is needed in faith.
      Do you consider yourself a believer, agnostic or atheist?

      • unconventionalspirituality 04/23/2013 at 15:10:45

        I agree that doubt is necessary for faith because I see doubt as the catalyst of faith. Without doubt there would be no need for faith. I consider myself a believer with agnostic tendencies but not an atheist. I tend to believe in a force unexplained as much as I doubt the construct of religions.
        Rina below says that God is an energy that man expresses as a being and gives a name (Jesus, Allah, etc) and my beliefs are similar. Most of us begin with doubts when we start realizing that the dogma of religion is not accurate. The pattern becomes unthreaded one strand at a time as we begin seeing man’s fingerprints in the creation of religions. (the errancy of the bible, varying doctrines, extreme practices that seem unbefitting for an omniscient God). Are we really questioning God or dogma? The atheist contends that if dogma is BS then so is the existence of God and use an exaggerated emphasis in science to affirm their position. But I don’t see it that way. There is the possibility of what we refer to as God as there is the absolute of religious dogma and for me they are not one in the same. A supernatural spiritual energy can exist without the religious container it is said to exist within.

      • Frank Olvera (aka "The Christian Noob") 04/23/2013 at 15:22:37

        By the way, Rina is my mom.🙂

      • Frank Olvera (aka "The Christian Noob") 04/23/2013 at 15:28:35

        I think most people question dogma as “the official system of belief or doctrine held by a religion, or a particular group or organization” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogma), not the movie.

  2. Rina Mosquera 04/23/2013 at 10:07:27

    Es es un enigma,
    Desde que comenzó el mundo el hombre se pregunta que o quien es Dios?
    Si existe o no existe Dios?
    A todos nos pasa lo mismo, lo que pasa es que Ud. se pregunta y l comparte y la mayor parte de la gente calla.
    Definitivamente si buscamos un Dios que tenga el aspecto de un viejo Barbon que vive en el cielo, ESO NO EXISTE.
    Pero:
    Para los católicos, Dios es Jesús el Cristo.
    Para los Budistas, su Dios es El Buda
    Para los Islámicos, su Dios es Ala
    Para los Mahometanos, su Dios es Ala
    y así sucesivamente, según nuestra religión, le damos el nombre y la forma.

    Lo que realmente es Dios, ES LA ENERGÍA
    Energía inmanente de lo que sale todo, delo que se crea todo.
    Se llama trinologo, porque se compone de tres partes,
    El trinologo esta en todas las cosas, tienen:
    1.- Voluntad,
    2.- Inteligencia – forma y
    3.- Energía – vida
    Que vendría a ser lo mismo que se conoce en la religión católica con el nombre de:
    1.- El Padre
    2.- El Hijo y
    3.- El Espíritu Santo
    Serie bueno que busque en Internet que es Dharman, Dharman es el orden universal con se manifiesta el cosmos..
    Porque no tenemos que hacer nada para que alumbre el sol, no tenemos que hacer nada para llueva, etc.

  3. unconventionalspirituality 04/23/2013 at 15:48:56

    I think your Mom is a wise woman, and hopefully I understood her response as she intended it. My observation is that most deconverted chrisians are largely former protestants who have been exposed to a very rigid set of beliefs. I don’t think that I would personally have questioned the existence of God if I hadn’t started questioning dogma, but fortunately for me I was raised in a liberal home and allowed the freedom to explore spirituality so I have always been heretical when it comes to religious doctrines. That I think has allowed me to keep the door open to [spirituality].

    • Frank Olvera (aka "The Christian Noob") 04/23/2013 at 15:58:13

      Most deconverted Christians I know of come from all denominations of Christianity. Since I grew up Catholic, I’ve seen many Catholics leaving the Church for spirituality yet calling themselves Catholic. Hardly any of them have decided to go to a Protestant church (like I’ve done).

      • unconventionalspirituality 04/23/2013 at 16:13:01

        I should mention that I was raised catholacostal. My father’s family catholic, my mother’s family pentecostal. But since my father’s family lived up north and I was raised in the south, the religous environment I was mostly exposed to was protestant, only attending masses during visitations with my father’s family.
        I visit a few boards and forums, but you are indeed the only Catholic changed protestant that I have encountered. I have read posts from a few deconverted cattholics but most posts on the forums I visit seem to be angry ex-protestants.

      • Frank Olvera (aka "The Christian Noob") 04/23/2013 at 21:23:53

        There are angry religious people everywhere. In the church I go to, most people seem too cheerful as if they live for the Church, ministries and such.

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SARAH MAX RESEARCH

I am not writing about what we know...I am writing about what we don't know.I am voice for voiceless and you help me to discover this crazy world together. BE INFORMED, NOT OPINIONATED !

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