psychotic for Lenten, day 41 & what’s left of my faith (testimony of faith)

With all the crap going on in my life, my faith has shifted (no surprise). As such, this is my new testimony of faith.

1. I believe in a God who’s missing and allows my sick child to suffer. How many more seizures can an eleven-year-old have before his brain turns to mush? Does my boy need to have a major seizure that stops his breathing or, worse yet, his heart in order for you to do something?
2. I struggle with my limited faith, now even more.
3. Where in the fuck is God when He sees my son have another seizure or has to go to another and some other hospital? I don’t have anything better to say.

Mortigu min!

psychotic for Lenten, day 41 & the punishment of God

Another seizure ; seven so far in his life, second in two weeks! Why in blazes, God!? Why my little boy who’s sick enough already? Hopefully not some twisted test faith.. ain’t Job ! So brokenhearted and pissed off at YOU!

psychotic for Lenten, day 41

another day, possible snow storm in spring (failing to consider the errors in the common calendar)… so what else is new? gotta get my new prescription glasses to replace the ones I destroyed about three (3) weeks ago, still waiting for my union vouchers… by the way, can’t read the church bulletin well or the hymnal at all, what a blasted mess…

and now possibly the first or one of the oldest creeds from Philippians 2:5-11:

“5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. 9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: 10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; 11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:5-11 KJV)

last but not least, today’s Lenten devotional from Philippians 3:1-14:

“1 Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is safe. 2 Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision. 3 For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh. 4 Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: 5 Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; 6 Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. 7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. 12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:1-14 KJV)

circumcision? what in the hell? such brutality… well now back to work, as if…